Before leaving home, I was often times asked what I was most excited about seeing or experiencing while traveling around Australia. My answers usually included “Seeing a kangaroo, going to the Whitsundays, competing in a triathlon, learning to surf…”
But really, what I was, and am, most excited about on this journey is the personal growth I know I will experience. Those that know me well, know that I sometimes can be a huge, gigantic, colossal, enormous, massive worry wart.
I think things over and over in my head and when things go differently than planned I always instantly go to worst-case-scenario. I try not to plan things or have expectations, but at the same time I want to know what is to come. I am constantly going back and forth.
Since arriving, I have had endless thoughts about whether or not I am doing this “right”. I want to stay fit and go off on my own to do the things that interest me, but I also want to meet people and spend time doing activities with them. I only want to stay here for about a month but then I do want to make some money and feel settled in. I want to have freedom and be on my own schedule, but I also want responsibilities to keep me busy and my days structured. I want to take things slow and enjoy the moment, but I also want to do as much as I can in this limited time.
I have dealt with this constant chattering in my mind almost all of my life. But I am slowly slowly learning to sometimes just blatenly tell my mind to SHUT UP! That is why I found it so fitting when I saw this in the paper today. The Fraser Coast Chronicle must have known I needed to see this.
So with this mantra, I am declaring that I will attempt to make a more conscientious effort in just focusing on what is important today and not fretting the future.
But with this I realize I need to say thank you to everyone reading this. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I am not sure if this is selfish to admit, but I have gone on this adventure for me. Me and me only. Without really taking anyone else into consideration. But what is so ironic about that is that if I didn’t have the overwhelming support from my high school homies, my fellow Bradley Braves, my post college gang, my Dinkel’s and Durable coworkers, vendors, and bosses, my aunts and uncles, Bella, old roommates, my cousins, nice people I have met at Shabbat dinners or on the train, Amy and Aaron, and most importantly Mom and Dad, I know that I would never be able to do this.
Because I know this is going to be tough. Really tough. But rewarding. Very rewarding. With the extreme highs I am sure will come the lowest of the lows. And whether I worry or not, it is going to happen.
So right now I am going to enjoy the baby wallabees and the sunsets on the beach. And I am going to keep the worrying about where I will be next month for another day……….. hopefully.